What do you see when you look in the mirror? Do see a rockstar? Or, like many of us, does your head fill with negative talk?
Getting Unstuck - 'cus you are special and LIFE does happen
This Motivation Monday, just far enough into the New Year that you may already be faltering on that resolution, I challenge you to join me on getting unstuck from that negative self-talk. Let's restart. We all have LIFE happening, it gets in the way. The old proverb says "fall seven times, get up eight". Today we start fresh because we are special. LIFE happened, knocked us down already, but we'll get up. Do as you always do and you'll always get what you've always gotten. So today we begin our journey to get unstuck this year.
No Empty Promise Here
I'm not here to sell you on empty promises, I have work to do, too. I won't tell you it's easy or that it won't take work. It will. Hard work and commitment on our parts. I can promise you that it is worth it! Today, if you act fast (and I mean fast) you can grab a seat in celebrity Beachbody coach and creater of Turbo Jam, Turbo Fire and Piyo, Chalene Johnson's webinar about gaining courageous confidence to crush your goals in 2015. This front row seat with the amazing Chalene Johnson that usually costs over $1,000 is FREE. Yes, FREE. But jump on this now and reserve your seat for this life changing seminar because they fill up fast and the seminar is tomorrow! Open the sign up page HERE!
Want to learn how to let that inner lion roar about how kind,
beautiful, strong, compassionate and down right awesome you are?
Join me by making this New Years Resolution our new reality!
Negative Self-Talk
What is negative self-talk? Let's look at that example of looking in the mirror. Do you see the Lion inside? If you're like me, you don't. If you're like me, you cringe when you see yourself naked in a mirror ~ shudder. I got dressed up for the Christmas Party, just a few weeks ago, and sighed. I thought "that's the best I can do with what I got." After all, LIFE happened with a vengeance. Going from working on my B.S. degree, working over time on a start up and commissioning project (the first of its kind in my state), etc, etc...LIFE happened. My husband was diagnosed with gastric cancer and 22 days later, my dad suffered an inter-cerebral hemorrhage. Everything I had on my plate, all my dreams, got shoved aside. I became a full time caregiver...and a caregiver's caregiver. All the weight I'd worked so hard to lose when I started the fitter Fitter is back. Major setback. Yet, it is understandable considering all the days I've spent sitting on my dupa in hospital waiting rooms. Yes, LIFE happened hard, but I still beat up on myself for loosing all that ground...even though I still only had 24 hours in a day. My negative self-talk came roaring back.
"I can't believe she's wearing that!" "Look how much weight she gained back!" "She's so fat and lazy." Fat. Lazy. Loser. Quitter. Failure. I mean, I'm the fitter Fitter for crying out loud...and with all the caregiving responsibilities, I've let it go. That's what rolled through my head. That's what I expected to hear from everyone at that party. What I heard was "you look great for all you've been through!" "That's a pretty outfit, I didn't know you wore dresses, but then I've only seen you at work." "You're so strong. I don't know how you've kept it all together through all of this." That's what I heard. So, where's the disconnect? I'm stuck in negative self-talk.
Sometimes we have to step away from the scale.
It won't reflect how hard you crushed your workout
yesterday. Instead, soak in that feeling of
accomplishment that completing a workout gives you.
Be Your Own Best Friend
Sit down with a piece of paper and write down those little things you say to yourself. Make a column for the positive comments and the negative ones. Now, look at those negative comments. That's how you see yourself. Would you say those things to your best friend? No! Of coarse not. So, why do we talk to ourselves that way? Spend a little time in the positive column. Rewrite all those negative comments to be positive ones. Make those positive comments into post-it notes and put them around your house where you will see them daily.
All that self-trash-talk is unhealthy and, did you know that research has shown that it can actually alter your physical appearance? Mara Miller reported on a study in the January/February 2014 issue of Womens Health that "normal-weight people who viewed themselves as fat were more likely to end up overweight." According to New York psychotherapist Christel Parker, "the pitfalls go beyond the scale". That self trash-talk can spill over and "hinder friendships, job prospects and overall well-being."
Serious food for thought: Only YOU know what you've overcome. Only YOU
know the extent of your courage and strength, the depths of your inner beauty.
You got knocked down 7 times and stood up 8...and shook your fist at it!
So, why are you not your biggest cheerleader?
Break the Cycle
You failed at that last diet, so you call yourself fat. The self trash-talk blasts your confidence and that new fitness program gathers dust while you reach for the comfort food. The comfort food puts pounds back on. You feel worse. It's a vicious cycle. We break it today. But how?
1) Get Up! - Get out of the chair and put down the potato chips! If Insanity hurt your knees, try Slim in 6. Need something slower? Start building your core and centering yourself with Tai Cheng. Modify if you need to. Finish that workout, no matter how many water breaks you need. Take a walk. Set that attainable goal, then reach it. Then, give yourself permission to feel good about it. Research has linked any type of exercise (cardio, strength training, stretching, yoga) to better body confidence. It doesn't matter what your fitness level is. It doesn't matter whether your weight changes. Neither does the intensity of your workout. Post about your workout, talk about it. You're welcomed to join me on my facebook fitter Fitter page and post it there if you're afraid your friends will hate to hear about it, I'd love to hear about your daily successes! According to psychologist Louise Wasylkiw, Ph.D. of Mount Allison University, "just talking about your workout can up your self-image." And if you feel better about yourself and are reaching those goals, you'll keep at it. If you keep at it, you will see the change in yourself when you look in that mirror or pull on that pair of skinny jeans.
2) Listen Up! - Get in touch with your body, listen to it. The more in tune you are with how your body works, the less you'll dwell on your appearance over how you feel according to cognitive psychology researcher Vivien Ainley. A study showed that women who could more accurately count their own heartbeats objectified themselves less. Meditation, yoga and spending some quality quiet time being comfortable in your own company will help you get more in tune with you. Your body, regardless of your dress size, is an amazing, incredible machine!
3) Shut Up! - Stop that "Fat Chat". Saying things like "OMG, you are soooo tiny; my thighs are tree trunks" or "the last time I fit into jeans that size I was 11" are more hurtful to yourself than you think. Most of us women-folk think that type of self trash-talk is harmless, maybe even makes the other person feel better. Some of us even think it's helpful to remind ourselves endlessly about how far we have to go to reach that ultimate weight loss goal. But really, no really, it's anything but helpful and harmless. Even those snarky little 3rd party comments like "oh, wow, look at how much holiday weight so-and-so put on" are negative reinforcement for our own body image. Psychology doctoral candidate Rachel Salk of the University of Wisconsin challenges us to "challenge, then replace, fat talk." Everyone can feel more confident, just by praising someone else's strength or health habits or workout routine.
Get Unstuck, Put it into Practice and Feel Better About Yourself Now!
This is definately a New Years Resolution to stick to. You'll have to work at it, you'll probably even back-slide a few time. However, it is one to stick to. So, how do you do that when nothing has worked before...thus that self trash-talk and that last bag of chips (and I can't believe I ate the whole thing!) How do we get unstuck? And this will work even if you missed Chalene Johnson's Courageous Confidence Club webinar. I promise!
Here are some simple practices that can make perfect on this New Years Resolution and get you unstuck...and have you feeling more positively about yourself by tonight!
1) Set Goals - yes, set goals. Ultimately, I want to be the weight that fantasy chart at the doctor's office says I should be. Realistically it's going to take some doing to get there, that's the Big Picture Goal. So, set realistic and quickly attainable short term goals - lose a pant size, drop those first 10 pounds, crush your daily workout (even if it's Tai Cheng) for 30 days straight. What ever that mini-goal, make it attainable and make it part of that Big Picture Goal. Document that Big Picture goal and all the mini-goals to reach it. Write it down, break it down. What ever it takes to visualize it.
2) Accountability - yes, that icky word. But, it works. If you have a workout buddy and do it together or have a cheering squad that looks out for you, you will be more apt to stick to your workout routine. Again, if you lack a cheering squad, join me on my fitter Fitter facebook page and I'll be your cheerleader...and you can be mine! The beauty of this is that you have someone who wants to hear you brag about your work out (even if the treadmill didn't break). You'll find that when you have a support system, you'll even work out on days you really don't want to, just because you are accountable to them. To me the accountability of the teambeachbody community was instrumental in getting it done...and I miss them when I haven't connected with them. Accountability works. This is even a great place to set up that old penalty jar. Every time you catch yourself in self doubt, you owe yourself a payment.
your success, difficulties and I'll be your cheerleader!
3) Fake it 'til you Make it - Your body language not only speaks volumes to those around you, it shouts loud and clear to you, too. "When you hunch your shoulders, cross your arms over your chest or look at the floor, you are announcing your self-consciousness" says body-language pro Lillian Glass, Ph.D. Walk upright like someone is holding you up by a string extending from the top of your head and look the world straight in the eye. Do a good ol' fashioned buttock squeeze when you talk to someone. Squeezing those butt muscles will straighten your spine. Stand with your feet shoulder width apart, toes pointing straight at the person you're talking to. Don't be afraid to smile and talk with your hands. Openness of that sort screams self confidence and makes us seem more secure to those we speak to.
4) Out with the Old, In with the New - Do a scan of you nest, your home environment. Can you find any confidence-destroying things? Old jeans that don't fit. A sweater that's too small. Your friends too perfect facebook posts always glaring at you from your screen. Cut these things from your immediate surroundings. If you can't totally ditch this stuff, at least put it away for a good, long while. Then, when the Debbie-Downer-Decor is history, work to surround yourself with positive messages. Remember rewriting those negative self-talk statements into positive ones? Yeah, those. Make inspirational notes of those and put them where you will see them. "You are amazing and beautiful inside." "You kicked butt in your sweat session today." Strategically placed so these messages are the first thing you see in the morning and the last thing you see on your way out the door will boost that self-image.
5) Step Away From That Scale - No, really. Step away from that scale. Too often we obsess about that number. Make stepping on the scale a special occasion by putting it away from a while. If looking at that number sets off that self trash-talk, then don't do it. You may have absolutely CRUSHED Sean T in that Insanity workout or nailed Chalene Johnson's Turbo Fire choreography, but you will NOT see that reflected in the number on that scale tomorrow morning. Instead, revel in the feeling of accomplishment that fitting that work out in gives you.
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—Reverend Dr. Lee. P. Washington Pastor, Reid Temple AME Church Glenn Dale, MD
www.reidtemple.org
Rooted in faith and written with love, Rodney D. Smith has created the blueprint for helping others pull themselves out of a rut and into a more fulfilling life. Somebody, Help! I’m Stuck is a step-by-step guide to success for anyone looking to go a little bit further, see a little more clearly, or reach a little bit higher. There is power within the lessons of this book. All you have to do is grab it! A must read!
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